Not Now, Not Ever
by LadyMithrellas
Summary: I lost my love two years ago. Now, the blonde Slytherin prince is trying to win me over like he did in the past. When he finally does will all turn out to be the way it's suppose to be? My name is Eliene and things are never what they seem.


**Not Now, Not Ever**

I lost my love in my fourth year. Two years later, the blonde Slytherin prince is trying to win me over like he did in the past, but it's not working. When he finally 'gets to me', will all turn out to be the way it's suppose to be? My name is Eliene, and things are never what they seem... I totally hate happy endings, so you'll have to read and find out.

Yah... so this started out as a one-shot, and developed into a short story. Who knows.. maybe it'll blossom into a wonderful novel! Doubtful, but a girl can dream. Anywho, here's chappie one. It probably won't be long, but it'll my point across. Just so you know - I hate happy endings, so don't expect Happily Ever After. It's not angsty, just not 'I love you forever and ever amen'. Thanks! Enjoy!

* * *

I knew that I had a boyfriend, and he was apparently in love with me, but the blonde slytherin prince wouldn't seem to race away on some gold chariot from my mind, He haunted me everywhere. He wouldn't go away. Whereas Jacob was my friend, my love, my world, and I his, Draco Malfoy could not leave me alone. He would not leave the presence of my mind even for a moment, no matter what I tried to do. When I was kissing Jake, it was Draco who stood opposite me, kissing right back. And I hated it. Draco and I tried that once, and it didn't work out.

And ever since Cedric's death - well, let's just say that Jake was the only one who could help me. It had been two years since then, but I still got nightmares of _him_.

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

He killed me first love, my true love. And I swore vengeance on him, though it seemed to have washed of somewhat by now, only by my everlasting tears of hate. Cedric and I had been in love once; we had everything. Everyone envied us.

Somehow, a sixth year - a beautiful, dark haired, dark eyed, god - had noticed me, a fourth year. I'm sure it was because I was the fifth contestant in the TriWizard Tournament, but he insisted otherwise. Barty Crouch Jr. had put my name on the same slip of paper as Harry's - foolish. I was there when Cedric died, when Wormtail cursed him with the - the - well, you know.

I was there when the love of my life, my _fiancé_, was brutally murdered. Yes, my fiancé. It had been a secret. No one knew but Draco and KayLin (my two best friends). We were going to wait until I graduated from Hogwarts and he had worked enough to have the wedding. Young, I know. I still love him with all of my heart, but he's gone. I he would have wanted me to move on...

Jake had been Cedric's friend, not close, but they knew each other by Quidditch. Jake was the one who snuck out from Hufflepuff to be with me all night, with my puffy eyes from crying and my restlessness. It's not that Draco didn't care, he told me everyday he did. He just really couldn't be seen with a Gryffindor, and I with a Slytherin. So it was a mutual and unspoken agreement that we'd communicate by code. He also said that it'd help me vent my anger. And it did help:

Draco would call me Gryffindor scum, and I'd retort with whatever I was feeling that day; creative and witty, or powerful and really angry.

He and I became close, and we even dated secretly. But like I said: that didn't work out. There was just no way a Gryffindor and a Slytherin could date without getting found out and ridiculed. So that was a no-no.

And now, when Draco forced his way into my dreams, he was accompanied by Cedric, a flash of green, and Cedric's lifeless, cold body on the ground, his once chocolatey eyes, now the color of frosty earth, staring up at me. Then I would spiral into perpetual abyss, surrounded by the darkness emanating from my angry hate. Then all would be well, at least as well as it could get, while I lay sweating and shaking in my maroon four poster bed.

Then, two years later, Jake and I grew closer – how I don't know; on the other hand, Draco grew cold and relentless. He and I stopped speaking all together one night when he said something he shouldn't have – something about Cedric.

I remember it like it was yesterday:

_I sat in the library silently looking over some notes for N.E.W.T. Potions, Slughorn's class, when a familiar sneer whispered in my ear, "Gryffindor scum."_

_I whirled around ready to make a comeback. But Pansy was glued to his arm, so I could exactly say something seductively provocative. Instead, I forwarded my slur to the black-haired giggling creature at his side. "Slytherin slut - ooh, double points for that one," I said, referring to the muggle game Scatergories._

_She gasped and made a move – to hit me or jinx me – but Draco grabbed her wrist._

"_What's wrong Are you just going to let her talk to me that way?" Pansy cried. Draco looked slightly bewildered and then angry; it was routine. But I took it a step further._

"_Yah, Drakey-Poo. You just going to let me say that to you princess whore?" I gathered my things to head back to the common room. _

_Then he crossed the line._

"_No of course not. I was going to retort your _fiancé_, but seeing as he's a little dead at the moment…" He trailed off._

_I froze. So did he. He knew in that instant that he'd lost me for good. Pansy giggled. "Finace? Who'd want to marry - "_

"_Shut up!" Draco roared. He strode quickly to me. "No, I didn't mean it. Eliene, please - "_

_A cold, hard, angry smack echoed through the silent library. Heads peeked from behind bookshelves to see what all the commotion was all about. I would never forgive him for that. "You promised you'd never say anything!" I yelled. My hand burned from where it had connected with Draco's cheek; on his cheek was a rosy handprint. _

_A tear, a hot, angry tear fell from my eye as Madam Pince came rushing from her desk. She was saying something, but I hadn't the heart to listen. It was shredding into pieces from it's originally poorly bandaged state. I swear I felt it drop into my stomach._

"_You cocky, stuck-up, rich jerk! I never want to talk to you again! Stay away from me! FOREVER!" I screamed the latter in hysteria, while everyone stared. Even Madam Pince said nothing until I had successfully gathered my things, which were strewn all over the floor, and exited without another word._

This was the end of last year, my fifth year at Hogwarts. Boy was it a tough year (I can't go into detail here, but Harry had it really rough. I suspect this year will be even harder).

Anyways, back to my point.

Malfoy, even since that day, had not left my dreams. And now it was twice as much. My mind was always filled with pleasant fantasies of him, until I mentally chided myself for being so ignorant.

He kept trying to talk to me, but I ignored him. It was somewhat cute, but rather annoying. No matter where I went, he was there, followed by constant whispers and his stupid lapdog, Pansy. She took every shot at me that she had when Draco wasn't around. _Somehow,_ my engagement to Cedric had leaked out, and the whole school about it. I now knew how Harry felt when he had been cascaded by looks of wonder, disbelief, and disdain.

It was _really_ annoying. And, to top it off, Jake had inquired numerous times as to why I had never spoken about it. He wouldn't take my not wanting to talk about it as a good enough answer. So finally, one day, I told him that I needed my space, and he left without another word, though he looked quite irritated.

And as odd as everything was, I was actually doing good in all of my classes. Even Snape couldn't find anything to lower my grade or take points from me. It was all good, except for one thing:

Draco Malfoy.

He was colder than he was before, not talking to me, yet he was still sending me pleading looks when alone, and the weakest of sneers he could bare to muster when surround by his goons. I almost began to pity him, but then I remembered what he had said, and it was back to gray clouds, raindrops, and the dark side of the moon.

Finally, after a few weeks, he found me alone, secluded, in the Room of Requirement. It was a small room with a black velvety bed and dark maroon curtains. Then he forced me to stay (by permanently locking the doors until I spoke to him). I couldn't believe he was still trying after what he'd said to me. Then he told me something I could use to my advantage.

"I love you," he had whispered ever so softly. He couldn't see my smirk hidden by shadow. But my mind was working one-hundred-thousand miles an hour. And boy did the plan feel good.

So good…


End file.
